Hostile Relationship Between Ex Spouses

It may be very difficult for former spouses to put aside their differences and have an amicable relationship for the sake of their children. Many people have bitter divorces, although some couples do manage to stay friendly with their ex-spouses. Parents who manage to stay friendly for the sake of their children, will generally make the transition easier on them. If they can agree on a visitation schedule, the court will not have to step in a make a visitation schedule of their own. The court does have to approve it. Even if an ex-couple truly despise each other, there are some things they can do to make the process of visitation easier on their children.

While parents may try to have their childrens' best interests at heart, it may be difficult to put aside bitter feelings. Dealing with visitations can be especially painful, as a parent may feel envious of the time that their ex-spouse gets to spend with the children. Some angry ex-spouses sabotage their visitation time with the children as a way of hurting their ex. Finding a resolution for dealing with the angry feelings between ex-spouses can be very difficult, since it is hard to sit down with an individual that one does not like to work out any type of agreement, let alone visitations.

A custodial parent should encourage their childrens' visitation with the noncustodial parent. A child has the right to visitation with both parents and it is usually beneficial for a child to spend time with both parents. No matter how much one may despise their ex-spouse, they must try to recognize that the child is both of theirs and has the right to see each one. Trying to punish one's ex-spouse by missing visitations only hurts the child in the long run. Each parent should treat each other with respect for their child's sake. Arguments between the parents will hurt the children more than the ex-spouse.

Visitation schedules may need to change as the child grows. An ex-spouse's schedule may change as well. Being as flexible as possible about visitation schedules will help both the child and the ex-spouses. Reaching a mutual visitation agreement will help visitations run smoother, despite the ex-spouses' dislike of each other. Coming to mutually agreed visitation ground rules with one's former spouse is also a good idea, since it may help eliminate future confusion and arguments about rules.


When a couple decides to divorce, the children may be upset, scared and confused. Although the parents may have a hostile relationship with each other, it is their job as parents to make sure the transition runs as smooth as possible for their children. Respect and maturity on the part of each parent will make visitations easier on everyone involved.

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